Our Journey So Far....

If you'd like to skip my lengthly 'into' and go straight to the blog, please click the link below;
https://krazeefrog.blogspot.fr/

2002 mc 12w; 2003 DD1; 2004 ectopic rupture 9+6; 2006 DD2; 2008 chemical x1; 2009 chemical x1 2010 IUIx4 (no response); 2011 IVFx2 (bfn) 2013 mc 6w+; 2014 IVF (chemical); 2014 hetreotopic twins, mc T1 6w+ & T2 metotrexate x2 7w+; 2014 chemical x2;  2015 chemical x1; 2015 IVF (bfp) 2016 DD3 (& vanished twin 1st trimester);  2017 IVF (no transfer, only 2 eggs at EC); March 2018 IVF (chemical/early mc); April 2018 chemical; July 2018 = IVF#7 bfn (2 frosties, 1st tiem EVER), FET#1 bfn.... FET#2 on hold, awaiting hysteroscopy for endometriosis and adenomyosis check.....
Our journey began way back in 2002, we weren't actively ttc, but we weren't preventing either....we had married the previous year but were still young and still in the process of renovating our first house....

So bfp#1 was a surprise about a week before my 23rd birthday, a delightful VERY much wanted surprise, we were over the moon! 
Sadly, despite seeing our baby and a wonderful heartbeat at 10w, I MC at 12w.

I then bled for about 9 weeks, it was horrible and a daily reminder of how rubbish my body was.
In autumn I was booked in for my large tattoo to be completed, I had been testing almost daily, even popping into the health centre to check with the nurse on a few desperate occasions. 
We were elated to have to cancel my tattoo booking due to having a bfp the night before!
I had spotting throughout the first trimester (like our previous pregnancy), only this time my MW had me take time off work and rest as much as possible - I even cancelled my evening classes (French) as I wanted to be at home protecting our growing baby.
Our  beautiful daughter was born early summer 2003!
She was born by emcs, and unbeknown to me this can cause problems for future fertility....

Early summer 2004 we moved back to France as I was desperate to be a stay at home mum, and France was where this might be possible.

We had started to talk about when to have another baby, to our surprise we were pregnant again without actively trying, there was to be just 22m between our babies, amazing!
Sadly once again we were to face another loss and at 9+6 I was rushed to hospital with an ectopic rupture - my tubes were covered in scarring from my emcs. 
I had emergency surgery to removed the baby, the tube and to repair my remaining tube from all the adhesions.

A very long 9 months passed since surgery, this was the longest we had tried to get pregnant.
Just after our daughter turned 2 years in the summer of 2005, I had another bfp, this pregnancy started with a lot of pains and some spotting, so we were monitored a lot in the early weeks. 
We were told to expect a MMC as my hcg wasn't doubling as they'd like and it took until 7+w and a beta of 42,000 to see the HB of our little baby.
Braxton hicks started at 9w and I was instructed once again to rest.  There was spotting at 24/25w but no cause was found.
Our gorgeous second daughter arrived in spring 2006, again by emcs.

By the time we were parents to our two amazing girls I was 26, our losses had added to my desire for more children and I had my heart set on 4 children by the time I was 30....I didn't realise just how naive I was being giving myself this timeline!

At just a couple of months postpartum, we started ttc again, this was July 1st 2006....

July 1st 2008 we had an appointment to discuss why nothing was happening....we were laughed out of the office, we had 2 children already, I had to lose weight and have more sex, we obviously had nothing wrong with us, I cried and cried and cried!

In the November we had a short lived bfp, it was sadly a CP and my period arrived within a few hours of the positive test.
This happened again in December 2009, a second CP.

In 2009 we moved house which meant a change of Dr, yay!  Our new Dr sent us for tests immediately and we began IUI in 2010.
4 cycles passed and each had to be cancelled as I just didn't respond to the drugs, my ovaries appeared to be really struggling.

Our first IVF appointment was autumn 2010, we were to start straight away so began in December, with EC and ET in January 2011.  Despite only being 31 and the previous Dr thinking we had nothing wrong, we didn't have many follicles and only retrieved 5 eggs.
We had 2 transferred back at day 2.  BFN.  No frosties.

Our follow up revealed I had a polyp and also adhesions that were pushing my ovaries high into my abdomen basically suffocating them.
I had surgery on my birthday in 2011, it was the worst case of adhesions my surgeon had ever seen and he was surprised I wasn't in a lot of pain - I was, but there's only so many times I can beg for someone to listen to my concerns so just tried my best to deal with the pain and get on with life!

September 2011 we had our second IVF, we had 3 eggs and 2 transferred on day 2, BFN.  No frosties.

By the time 2012 came round I was tired of all the intervention....to my absolute delight, hubby agreed we could adopt!
We were still ttc in this time, this is allowed in France as long as there is a 9m age gap between any children.
We contacted the prefecture and had went to an open day where we sat through one of the longest lectures of our lives - pretty hard for me as it was all in French, but I still very much wanted to do this.  We had an interview and it seemed pretty optimistic.  We completed medicals and police checks and filled out various forms, including the type of adoption we would like - we opted to go for the max, searching for 3 siblings to bring home together.
Our next interview wasn't so great....as we already have 2 children then we go to the back of the list, so adopting one child would probably take a minimum of 7 years, the application lasts for 5 years, so we'd have to go through the entire process again and again for each child.
We wanted to adopt from Poland (my paternal family are Polish and this may have meant we could complete a little quicker), this was taken as a negative to bring a Polish child into an English speaking home, living in France - the advantage of multilingualism obviously isn't something these people think much of....
We decided to delay any further checks (home check and shrink assessment) for a while and give me some time to improve on my French - then we could be a French speaking family and 'only' bilingual!

At the end of 2012 hubby got devastating news that he might have cancer.
This put an end to adopting there and then as they frown upon anyone that may be ill, plus we just didn't know how things would turn out for hubby....

January 2013 I was successful in a job interview, so needed the Dr to give me something to control my periods (I had been begging for years to be checked for endometriosis), she prescribed me duphaston (progesterone) and joked we may not need any more IVF....

Feb 2013 hubby had surgery to remove his thyroid.
The day before surgery I got a positive ovulation test, so we had sex....
The first thing hubby said when he came round from surgery was that he wanted another baby.
A couple of weeks later (and after trying for 6.5 years) I was pregnant!
Sadly I started bleeding at about 5+ weeks and I MC at 6+3/6+4 after my beta started dropping.
We were beyond heartbroken that after so long and at such a difficult time, this would be taken away.

A few weeks later I started my new job, I cried on the drive to work every day for months, not knowing if hubby was cured after his surgery and losing a baby we were so desperate to welcome into the world.

May 2013 hubby had I131 (radioactive iodine), he was kept in isolation for a few days at the hospital, it was really hard being apart at such an emotional time.
The specialist was positive that this was all the treatment needed (apart from levothyroxine for life) and the cancer should be gone.

We started IVF again early 2014, hubby had sperm on ice so we used that.  We only got 4 eggs and only 1 survived to day two transfer.  I got a very faint line on a test at home, but sadly by the time I had my beta it was negative.  Our third CP.

2 cycles later I had a bfp, finally was this going to be the one....
My beta was good, we felt positive.
May 1st (bank holiday) I had to phone in work, I was in pain and went to A&E so see if we could check on the baby....I was about 5w at the time so may have been able to see something, nothing, just the very slight possibility of a sac but no fetal pole or HB.
We nervously went home to wait and see what happens, two days later I was back in with more pain - with ectopic history I was being monitored carefully.
It was about this stage that they wanted to give me methotrexate as they didn't think there was a viable pregnancy in the womb....I declined, if there was any chance of a baby there was no way I was having that injection.
We were backwards and forwards to the hospital for a couple of weeks, in that time I contacted the fertility clinic who were also monitoring me.
At about 7w there was a glimmer of hope as there seemed to be growth in my uterus and the sac was bigger.
Sadly I passed the baby from the womb at 7+4, and at 7+5 with my hcg still rising, fertility clinic gave me methotrexate.
A week later we saw a HB, the ectopic baby was growing and heartbrakingly I had a second dose of methotrexate to stop the growth.  It took a few days but finally my beta started to go down, or I would have needed surgery.  I took until July for my beta to reach zero.

October 2014 I had a HSG - this is standard after an ectopic treated with mx here, it showed that my tube was blocked.
This was a huge surprise to us as September and October I had more lines on tests followed quickly by my period, CPs numbers 4+5.

We booked in to see the surgeon who fixed it back in 2004.
January 2015 I had a lap and dye by the surgeon who had fixed me years before, somehow my tube had already cleared itself, so whilst there the surgeon zapped some fibroids and diagnosed endometriosis (although I didn't find out about the endo until December 2017!).

February 2015 more lines followed by my period, CP number 6.

In September 2015 we decided enough was enough and booked in for our absolute FINAL IVF.  After this is was time to give up, we had been trying for just over 9 years, it was time to move on and start the next chapter of our lives....

In those 9 years I had been diagnosed with Raynards, under-active thyroid, estrogen dominance/progesterone deficiency and endometriosis, I'd had polyp/ovarian/adhesion surgery, taken part in a growth hormone test, had fibroids zapped, had 2x HSG scans and a hycosy, plus all the losses.
We didn't really have much hope for IVF#4!

October 2015 I stimmed, we had 7 follicles and November 2015 had 6 eggs retrieved - our BEST cycle ever!
On day 2 we had 1 top grade embryo and a slightly lesser graded embryo put back....
I started getting lines at 7dp2dt!
OTD my beta was 267....lots of my online friends thought both embryos must have implanted....
Our first scan at 6+6 showed two sacs, with one strong HB.
At first I misunderstood and thought there was no hope for the second sac, but they wanted to see my a couple of weeks later to see if it would catch up....
9+1 we have one strong baby, measuring slightly ahead.  The second tried to catch up but sadly wasn't viable.  I was told I may bleed but all should go well.
At our 12w scan the second sac was still there, by 16w it had started to finally vanish.
Luckily I never bled, the tiny little embryo stayed with our healthy baby all the way through pregnancy and passed during my postpartum bleed.

We were blessed with our third daughter in August 2016, she weighed in at a whopping 10lbs at 41+5 and no surprise I had another emcs (natural/gentle emcs).
We were very happy that the surgeon delivering her into our lives was the same surgeon that fixed me in 2004 and 2015, it was his very last surgery as he retired a few hours later!

I thought our journey was complete as I really didn't want any more c-sections (the surgeon diagnosed an android pelvis - added to that our babies do have large heads, our IVF miracle was born with the head circumference of a 1m old)!
Before leaving hosp hubby gave me his puppy eyes and asked if we could do this one more time, so by the time I left I was saying "see you next time" to the staff lol!

We got the all clear from our family Dr to start trying as soon as I felt ready, with age against me and having needed IVF she was happy for us to get going as soon as possible rather that wait 12m after the c-section.
We started actively ttc in January 2017.

September 2017 we book in at clinic and chat through the next cycle, my bloods are done and we find I have diminished ovarian reserve and low AMH....

November 2017 we had IVF#5, we've got excitement and fear in equal measures!
Sadly I only had 5 follicles, resulting in just 2 eggs.  We didn't get to transfer as the eggs didn't make the grade for blasto!

March 2018 we begin IVF#6, I'm amazed to have 7 follicles this time, by the time I was at the end of stims this had gone down to just 6, but we were over the moon to have an egg from each.
5 were mature and ICSI'd and we had 4 in the running.  By day 3 there was an 8 cell in the lead and this was transferred.
Sadly we didn't get frosties.
After testing out trigger, lines started at 7dp3dt, wow, could this really be happening, all our dreams coming true, the blessing of a 4th child....
In this time we had a meeting with hubbys endocrinologist, he has been 5 years in remission and doesn't need as many checks now.  She is delighted IVF#6 may have worked and looks forward to our positive news....
I didn't have the best feeling over the tests, the lines just didn't reassure me as they didn't really darken over the days.  OTD confirmed the embryo was trying to implant, but by my second beta my level was <2, I started bleeding later that day and our 6th IVF was over, ending in CP number 7.

I then went on to try naturally next cycle, I had a faint line on a regular midstream 10miu test, sadly 2 days later my period arrived....

IVF7 was July, this was a good cycle, we got 6 eggs and ALL 6 fertilised!  We had a top grade (811) transferred back on day 3, a top grade (911) day 3 frozen and a great quality blast (4AB) also frozen.
The cycle was bfn.

FET#1 September, we've changed consultant as I had a bollocking for putting LO at risk whilst breastfeeding through IVF, our new consultant is fully supportive and appreciated my knowledge on the subject and also welcomed the evidence I go by in an email direct to him.
The transfer was rubbish, I had fluid in my uterus and the consultant doing the transfers that day was the one that gave me a bollocking!  She was as nice as pie during the procedure though (she's obviously been educated by our consultant and knows she was in the wrong lol)?  She drained the fluid and transfer went ahead.  Bfn.

Next transfer is on hold whilst I have a hysteroscopy to check what state my endo is in and to check to see if I have adenomyosis too....

To be continued....

No comments:

Post a Comment